Dwellers on the Past

"So who the fuck are all these assholes walking around the shore?" I asked. Faulkner kicked a rock at one of them and laughed when they scurried away. "These are people who think about the past all the time and never move on. You know, like fuckers in college who stay for their eighth year of school. Who gripe when you modernize a building because the old one had so much character." I nodded and walked up to one of them and asked him to talk about who he was. "I used to be a reviewer for Rolling Stones Magazine. Except I quit because they sold out, not like back when we were this awesome free thinking magazine that was just about music. And all the bands today suck. I don't listen to anything past '79. No fucking way. It's too bad I'm in Hell but it's not my fault people in Heaven have shitty taste. ROCK!" The reviewer went over to see what the nameless kayaker was doing and was promptly smacked in the face with an oar. Faulkner walked over to the kayaker and they talked for a minute before the boat set off. "He'll be back in a couple of hours, then he's going to take us over to the other two lakes and then the Charybdis. Just so you can get a feel for the Four Lakes of Hell and all that." We sat down and continued throwing rocks at the people stuck in the past. They immediately pointed out how much better it was before we were there throwing rocks at them.