Lake of Extremists

As we descended the staircase it wove in and out of the cliffside, eventually taking us inside a large crevace. Inside was a lake of fire where we paused and Faulkner swigged some whiskey. He kicked a rock into the fiery lake. Just barely, I could make out people down below in the flames. They appeared to be arguing. "You have to figure there's a place in Hell for conversation toppers. You know, like you'll be telling a funny joke, then they say "No, I've got an even funnier one". Then they tell a completely dumb story that makes no sense and just annoys everyone," Faulkner complained bitterly. I shook my head and sighed. "Why the lake of fire?" I asked. "Well, originally we had this whole thing up on the plains where they crawled around on each other trying to get to the top of this arbitrary hill, except then it just sinks into the ground and a new one forms and they all run over to that one. Except none of them were into it. They all wanted 'THE WORST SHIT POSSIBLE MAN'. Minos thought this was pretty funny, since the worst punishment possible would make these guys cry like little girls. So we just acted like this lake of fire was the worst and dumped them all into it. Now they get to all sit around and argue about whose better. Fucking extremists." We proceeded down the staircase and out of the crevace. We clambered farther and farther down the ledge until finally a horrible odor began to reach my nose. It smelled like shit. Literally. I began to grow worried about our next stop on this tour.