River of Oil

As we neared the river of oil I immediately noticed that it was quite shallow. There were lots of people lying around on the edges lamenting their beloved collection of cars or gloating over how rising gas prices didn't affect them. "So, c'mon, please, you gotta tell me, George Bush, he's in here right? A river of oil? It's too perfect." Faulkner looked at me like he had no idea what I was talking about. "Bush is in Purgatory right now, where he is going to be for a long time for all the trouble his sons caused. However, he will eventually get to Heaven. As for the other President Bush...he's down a bit deeper in Hell. This place is for people who bought wasteful cars and other pieces of extreme excess with no concern for the damage to the environment or people's lungs. The sin is not owning the car, it's owning it for no reason beyond yourself." Here were the people whom I had seen driving in Hummers alone and with nothing in the back. All the times a person had driven a gas guzzling car just because it was a status symbol. They writhed in the oil they had so casually burned like it was some kind of blanket that could protect them. Unforunately, they were still in Hell. We continued on and crossed the river of oil and stood by the shore of the lake of bullshit. I was about to ask who all the people wandering around were, when Faulkner pointed out to the lake.