Demon Attack

We moved along the archway in silence, while I still trembled at the millions of screaming former drunks swirling around us. Faulkner had to hold my arm and keep shushing me as I muttered that I should just give it up now. Looking back, it's kind of embarassing to remember my behavior. I mean, could you give up drinking in today's society? Before we had even begun working on the downward slant, a couple of demons flew up from below. I guess they could smell the fear on me and the desire to just give up on redemption, because before I knew it Faulkner had thrust me behind him. They had pitchforks and were screaming all kinds of awful shit like, "No one cares about you asshole. Just give it up. You know you'll never stop loving Jim Beam." They made a few references to my mother's hobbies in Hell as well. Of course, their taunts just made me freak out even more. Some of them were circling us, some were hovering on the ledge with their pitchforks, and all seemed intent on dragging me to my death when Faulkner suddenly started yelling and pointing to the ground. All of the demons paused and looked down, then began screaming at each other. "Who the fuck was supposed to be watching the Pit of Lazy Shits? Now the intellectual elitests are running around explaining that we'll whip them either way. FUCK!!!" They began fighting and stabbing one another, no longer paying attention to me or Faulkner. We ran down the archway and down into the next trench. "Christ, that was close. This is the last one before Uni-Mecca," Faulkner explained as we walked parallell to the trench.