Three Demons

An ear piercing scream rent the air and suddenly three people with bat wings flew overhead. These were demons, I realized, and I could hear their chatter as they passed us by. "So how come the demons are only allowed in a certain part of Hell?" I asked. Faulkner frowned, like he was trying to decide how best to answer the question. "Ok, you have to understand how work is divided up in Hell. There are three types of exempt souls: Limbo souls like me who just party most of the time except for the occasional lost soul tour, Limbo souls who do weird shit like the nameless kayaker, and then the half-humans. That would be mainly the centaurs, who were all British Dragoons back in the colonial period." Faulkner took me over to the shadow of a large boulder until the demons had passed by. "You mean like the warrior guys in Final Fantasy who can jump really high?" I asked. "No dumbass. A dragoon is a horse mounted soldier who operates a rifle, circa 1860's or so. What the fuck do they teach you in school anyways? When a soldier dies in combat, they are usually given a series of options between slapping draft dodgers around, going to purgatory, or taking up eternal duty in service to God. The Dragoons all opted for eternal duty. They all dug horses so much and since we all go to heaven once the Final Conflict ends, they opted to just punish people for a couple of millenia. Limbo is kinda like doing an internship for Heaven. Once it's over, you go on to Purgatory with a few cuts on your time there then off to Paradise." The demons were finally out of sight, landing noticeably in the neighboring valley. "So what does that make demons?" I asked. "They are gonna be here forever. They were with Satan in the original Fall and they are going to take over all the torture duties once we leave and Hell becomes the final place for all lost souls. Permenantly fucked, in other words. If you think it's shitty to be in Hell now, just wait until the chips settle and the final tallying occurs. The point is that a demon is somebody who has just as much power as I do, except they are completely fucked already and don't have to care what anyone says." The concern on Faulkner's normally calm face made me nervous about encountering these wild creatures.